Saw me calling love
by OtterAndTerrier
Summary: [COMPLETE] 'And then you're as good as gone, aren't you? ' she'd asked. Han had said nothing, done nothing but give her that sorrowful look. She'd wanted him to say something. Even to tell her he wasn't coming back. - Alternate take on what would have happened at the end of ESB if Cloud City was safe. What choices would they have made?


**A/N:** Written for AU Day of **Han/Leia Week** on Tumblr, back in July. I'm going to start adding what I've posted on my blog here and on AO3, for the people who aren't there, missed it or prefer reading here.

Their last lines are repurposed from the original script. Many thanks to the wonderful **GCFB/imnothere24** for the helpful suggestions!

Please **review** if you enjoyed it!

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 **Saw me calling love**

As they exited the dining room, Han took Leia's hand again. This time, it wasn't a display of possessiveness, a way to mark his territory in the face of Lando Calrissian's attentions. He was in a good mood—they all were.

Lando had proven himself to be a gracious host: after sending a repair crew to work on the _Millennium Falcon_ the previous evening, he had shown them to a tasteful suite of rooms, sent them dinner and invited them to breakfast the next morning to "catch up."

Leia had been wary at the beginning; she'd barely slept that night, alert of every sound, going over every one of Lando's words, trying to find a catch. Everything seemed fine, though. Chewie had been jealously looking over the repair crew and seemed satisfied with their work. Lando hadn't asked many personal questions, and Han had danced around the ones that had been posed. At breakfast, Lando had regaled her with anecdotes about some of Han's adventures that he'd been privy to, something that Han himself hadn't found very amusing.

Even so, the fact that his ship was being fixed, the pleasure of having real food again, of a comfortable bed, the feeling of security, all had contributed to Han's high spirits. When he took her hand now, it felt natural. As if they were a real couple, on a real vacation; as if they could stroll around the city admiring its painted skies, sneak away to a casino, have a dinner date, fall back into bed with careless glee.

A human in beige coveralls was waiting for them when they reached their suite.

'Your ship is ready, Captain Solo, ready for inspection whenever you wish to,' she said.

On instinct, Leia dropped Han's hand.

Chewie wailed softly and went away after the repair worker, tugging Threepio along, leaving Han staring at Leia.

She entered their rooms and he followed. The warmth that had been glowing inside of her all morning turned cold now, like the snuffing out of an old-fashioned candle.

'Leia,' he said tentatively at her back. She turned to face him, hands folded together.

'We need to talk about what's next… Captain,' she said in a composed voice.

'"Captain"?' he echoed in disbelief, scowling. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I think you know what it means.'

'I sure as hells don't.' His voice hadn't risen, but it sounded hard. Hurt, Leia knew. 'There's no one here for you to pretend.'

She felt a lump form in her throat. When she spoke next, her voice sounded small, like a whisper.

'There's me.'

Han looked like he wanted to come to her, hug her, kiss her, gently shake her soul until the Leia he had found during their days together in space fell out, so she turned her back to him again and walked to the window.

'I'm going to contact the Alliance and set up a rendezvous point so you can drop me there,' she said after clearing her throat, steeling her voice.

'I can take you to the fleet.'

'No, you can't.'

There was a pause.

'You don't trust me? You don't want me to know where the fleet is?'

'I think you already know too much.' Leia pressed her eyes closed for a second. She felt him approach, stopping so close she could feel his body's warmth. She forced herself to look at him. 'Jabba probably knows you were working for us. I can't stop you from going, but I won't let you put the Alliance in danger.'

He was looking at her the way he had that morning, when he'd announced that repairs were almost finished.

' _And then you're as good as gone, aren't you?'_ she'd asked. Han had said nothing, done nothing but give her that sorrowful look. She'd wanted him to say something. Even to tell her he wasn't coming back.

Or that he would like to, he would try to, if Jabba didn't kill him—another possibility that twisted her insides.

'We don't have to leave right away,' he said now. 'We could st—'

'No.' She shook her head with decision. 'We can't. We—I have to get back.'

Han nodded in defeat.

'I'm sorry,' he said, turning around and exiting the room.

:::::::::::::

The darkly-lit spaceport was grimy, smelling of old oil and filth, but it had the benefit of making everything into a private, mostly ignored affair.

Her pilot stood sentinel behind her, and Leia stood halfway between the _Falcon_ and her new transport. Stepping forward, Chewie gave her a crushing hug that he then apologized for, and did the same with C-3PO; then, he went back into the cockpit, wailing softly at Han as he went by.

'You can wait for me with Jahn, Threepio,' Leia told the droid.

'Very well, Princess Leia. I suppose this is goodbye, Captain Solo.' Threepio waved a stiff arm and waddled away. Leia looked up at Han.

'I suppose it is,' she repeated. She extended her hand for him to take. 'Goodbye, Han.'

His eyes flickered from her hands to her face. She had put her mask back in place for this; she couldn't let him see, and she couldn't let herself feel, and so she had reclaimed her features from long ago in order to do this. But he wasn't hiding anything.

Just when she thought she couldn't stand the tension between them, he took her hand and shook it numbly.

'Bye, Leia.'

His gruff mutter was still in her ears as she turned around and walked to her ship, and Leia felt herself crumbling. Could she really let him go like that? She kept expecting him to give her something, to say something, but hadn't he given and told her enough?

The cold weight in her chest threatened to drown her…

… maybe this one was on her.

Something in her snapped and she turned around, her heel clacking on the tarmac, prepared to throw her dignity, her composure, her heart to the winds and run after him, but—

Han was there, reaching her in two long strides and sweeping her off her feet as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, long and deep.

'I love you,' Leia said breathlessly when he put her down, arms still around her waist. 'I couldn't tell you before, but it's true.'

She knew he had to pay off his debt, and she knew he couldn't promise to be back—the Hutts weren't known for their mercy. But at least, now he knew… If he was to take anything from her with him, let it be her confession, her implicit promise.

A slow, lopsided smile formed in Han's lips. He reached out to push a wisp of hair off her face, brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek.

'Remember that, 'cos I'll be back.'


End file.
